10 Signs the Zune Review Was Written By An iPod User

It’s always fun to watch when a controversial product is released. If you look on Amazon under some polemical books, you’ll notice many of the reviews are from people who have never read it but hate it nonetheless. Enter the Zune – what could be more controversial than a product from [the hated] Microsoft aimed at competing with [the beloved] Apple? Read some of those reviews, they couldn’t be any more transparent! Here are some of the things they have in common:

1. Screen Size
If the reviewer says the bigger screen size is no big deal, chances are he is an Apple Addict. Keep in mind he was probably staring into a 23” monitor when he wrote the review, with a 54” television in the background providing the ambient noise. We deal with small mobile phone screen sizes and trust me, to the average consumer, size does matter.

2. Size and Weight
If the reviewer describes the size of the Zune as HUGE or GIGANTIC or ENORMOUS, it’s a good chance they are an iPod fan. While the bigger screen was “no big deal”, the extra few ounces are a back-breaker.

3. Review Length
The review is completely negative and about 4 pages long…yet the reviewer never mentioned once actually seeing the unit. “My friend’s sister’s best friend got one, and I’m pretty sure she hates it.” In fact, it's probably dated November 14 at 8:00am.

4. Brown Zune Referred To As A Turd
Hey, I don’t get this color either. But to make it a focal point in a review when there are two other colors available makes the author look like he is reaching for negative things to say.

5. Wireless Doesn’t Matter
If the reviewer doesn’t acknowledge the potential of the social aspect of the Zune, he is probably an iPod fan secretly wishing the capability were built into his – and will rejoice when a model comes out that does have it. Instead of kudos, they’ll complain that the Zune doesn’t allow access to a wireless network...yet an iPod currently does neither. “The social aspect is completely unnecessary”, says the reviewer as he shares his comments on Digg and every other Web 2.0 site. Imagine if the iPod, with its huge user-base, could share songs – regardless of 3 play limit? It'll be great for iPod users when Apple puts it in.

6. Doesn’t Mention the Interface
Microsoft…a good interface? What?!! The interface to the Zune is clean, very usable and totally unlike Microsoft’s track record in the UI department. For that, they should get props.

7. Microsoft is E-V-I-L
Inevitably, you'll get a review that goes off on a tangent about how Microsoft is evil and will bring about the demise of innovation. Yet, will they credit Microsoft as the innovator when the iPod gets wireless file sharing? That will be the true test of objectivity.

8. Zune Ugly, iPod "Sexy" As Scarlett
iPod users love the design of their player, and for good reason. The iPod is like that cool house you see when going through cities like Laguna or Newport Beach that have four walls made of glass and curves instead of corners. The Zune is like a nice California tract home – it’s the nicest looking on the block, but it still looks a lot like the others. That does have its benefits; with the glass house, you’d have to watch your every step so you don’t scratch anything. Writing about the great looks of the iPod is no biggie, but when the description sounds like a fan letter from a teenage boy to Scarlett Johansson, there is a problem indeed.

9. The Installation Screenshots (Orgasms?)
There have been numerous references to a crashing install – this is something that should cause great concern with Microsoft. But how many times do I have to read a review that mentions the pictures used in the install? Does that really matter? It must be a pretty slow press day when a journalist thinks one of the girls in the photo is having an orgasm. I guess you see what you want to see.

10. iPod, iPod, iPod
It’s natural to use the word iPod when reviewing the Zune since they are competing products. But with some reviews, the word iPod starts repeating like a cultic chant – soon, you become mesmerized and start to imagine yourself hanging out with Steve Jobs, both of you wearing your favorite turtlenecks, shouting “boom” as you share giggles over Microsoft’s demise.

Why iZune: Microsoft’s player has been working excellent for me. Sound is great, interface is great, and I really like the subscription model – I’ve had a chance to download old faves and listen to a lot of new music. With that said, the Zune could have better battery life and it would be nice if it could be used as a storage device as well. And what's with all the screens I have to go through to set things up?? Also, some people have complained of crashing installs and this is one of the worst things to happen in terms of user experience. There is room for improvement, but not a bad first gen product at all. I highly recommend it, but be sure to check out the feature comparisons for yourself and go to a store where you can actually use the Zune and the iPod...then decide for yourself. At this point, there is no telling how genuine the reviews actually are.

Comments

[Zetta]

Great insights! It's nice to see that others, like yourself, see through these iPod-cult members' true intentions, i.e., to find something -- anything -- possible to trash Gates and company, while lavishing their adoring praise on Jobs.

Gene from ZuneChannel.com

[LPX]

Awesome article! Soooo true too.

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[Tablet PC User]

Thanks for your article!

This is 100% true! It is amazing that the media has placed all it's efforts into destroying the Zune and many of them haven't even used it!

[Josh]

iPod owner/semi-fanboy here :)

1. The bigger screen is nice, yes, but the trouble is the resolution is the same as the iPod (320x240px). I don't see why they couldn't have upgraded the resolution while they were at it..

2. While not huge, it is a bit bigger. Part of the wow-factor of the iPod is its ridiculously small size.

3. Disclaimer: I don't own a Zune. I do know the specs pretty well though.

4. I agree... thats why they have them in different colors.

5. Wireless is nice, but I think it's a bit more novelty now than a useful feature. To get/send songs you need to enable wireless, but if you do that you lose battery life. So if you see someone with a zune, want to song-swap, you'll need to ask him to turn his wireless on, turn your wireless on, all to get one song that you can only listen to a few times anyway. I know its far-out, but this could be really nice if battery life wasn't reduced by it and you could play the songs an unlimited number of times.

6. The interface is pretty damn nice. But giving all the credit to MS isn't quite correct.. the interface is virtually identical to that of the Toshiba Gigabeat, as it's based on it... so Toshiba gets the credit there.

7. Microsoft IS evil. But so is every other corporation in the world (yes, Apple too). Such is life.

8. So, mediocrity in design is a good thing now? :P

9. Heh. Doesn't have anything to do with the player, so yes, I'll agree with you that it doesn't really matter.

10. But iPods are just ipodnesly ipodtastic.

Overall, I don't see any major reason for me to switch. They have the same price point, but the iPod has had a chance to get all the kinks worked out, can be used as a removable drive, and is easier to use. The only benifits the Zune has over the iPod IMO is the crippled wireless (would be a serious benefit if it was hacked..) and the interface, though for the latter I might as well get a Gigabeat.

Also, the Zune isn't big enough! I have a 60GB library and 30GB isn't enough. The iPod comes in 80GB as well.

[boris]

Dang, that's pretty right on.

I dig the Gigabeat.... but I love the customizable functions of the Zune. The Gigabeat/Zune UI is awesome - much better than that of my iPod in fact.

It seems like Gigabeat knows that have a great product that, with the right marketing, could gain them marketshare. That's why the iPod is so successful: They market it to be cool, despite it's lack of features (i.e. it took five years just to get gapless playback and video playback capability came after most players already had it). Most people buy iPods because it's a fashion statement. They don't want to be out with friends with iPods and then pull out their, um... Creative Zen V. Great marketing on Apple's part and people go for it.

Like that review in the NY Times said, "iPods have the coolness factor." And we all want to be cool.

I've no real die-hard loyalty to either, though. I'm not sucker for marketing. For me, it's all about the features. Wake me up when the players have a system of renting (not buying) movies to use with those huge screens.

[PalmerDeville]

Just wanted to comment on #8. You should probably look into the MusicGremlin and Archos MP3 players before you start crediting Microsoft as the innovator of wireless file sharing. Regardless of all other specs, those devices had WiFi first. The MusicGremlin also has WiFi to PC syncing, WiFi music store, connects to hotspots, manages friend lists, shares music globally and no 3x3 rule for subscription holders.

Not to mention that Apple posted wireless job positions for the iPod team in 2004.

Seriously, who credits Microsoft for innovation without doing 2-seconds of research first?

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[ipod review]

Thanks for the review. I will never let go of my ipod, but will give the Zune a try.

Check out my review of the ipod nano blue and ipod nano green.

[JJ Music]

Yeah I fully agree with you on this. What you mentioned is really true as we can actually characterized the way the review is written.